I submitted this 

Personality Development of African American Male Students and their High School Test Scores to graduate to the next level.  

1. The concentration of this study is on how much importance high school test score have in getting into a college and how do African American males approach this idea.
2. I would like to focus on awareness among high school African American students and their personality development. I would like to discover ways in which their approach towards high school tests can be improved.
3. It is important for a student to have an effective personality. Personality development can be helpful in academic and professional life. It will help to improve their approach towards academics and help them understand how effective high school tests can be for them in the future. Also, Personality development will help them prioritize the aspects of their life and in turn will help them when student enter the college life.
4. A high percentage of African American male students lack some personality development and are unable to prioritize things in their daily lives effectively and hence importance of high school test score is sometimes ignored by this group of people.
5. African American males are found to score lower on multiple levels as compared to European Americans males, and the trend is persistent. Studies show that they are unable to even communicate with the relevant authorities to address the issues they are facing in their academics(Vega, Moore III, & Miranda, 2015). It is important for them to have some sort of mentoring programs to help them understand the importance of this issue. Yolanda B. Gibson like many other researchers has worked on developing mentoring strategies to help the African American students to help them in personality development (Gibson, 2014). It is an important field of research because there is still a lot of room for improvement here.

References

Gibson, Y. B., (2014). The value of mentoring programs for African American male college students. Journal of Mason Graduate Research, 1(2), 70-82.

Vega, D., Moore III, J. L., & Miranda, A. H. (2015). Perceived barriers to achievement by African American and Latino high school students. American Secondary Education, 43(3), 36.

this was his feedback- please read and do everything he asked I attached assignment 1 details 

Hi – I’m a bit confused here as several constructs seem to be tied together – test performance, gender, race/ethnicity, awareness, etc.  I think the key is determining factors that contribute to lower test scores, which you have done; you need stronger literature however.  You seem to be making a huge leap into mentoring strategies and personality development.  First, isn’t it obvious that a good mentoring strategy might leader to higher achievement?  At the same time, you’ve not mentioned it up to this point.  Second, I would steer clear of personality issues – these are factors that are in place before high school, I think you should better focus on issues that directly address the issue, and might be improved.   You state that there is still room for improvement.  This is true, but you need to clearly support that issue.

In short, you’ve moved away from the problem area and incorporated a lot of other factors; developing the approach will come later.